Help Wanted
by SquidbaggerOfWoomyAndNgyesness
Summary: A parody of Help Wanted from SpongeBob, featuring the 2nd Generation Louds and their friends.


_"Location: Royal Woods, The World Of Nickelodeon, February 9th 2145"_

It was the weekend in Loud Park, so that meant some of the younger kids, such as Louis, could goof off for the day. But he chose not to because he was going to apply to Aloha Comrade. His alarm clock went off, but Louis turned it off a split-second later.

"Gonna have to beat me next time, alarm clock." Louis said.

The boy was already in his normal clothes and was ready for his biggest adventure. Getting a job at his age.

"Today's the big day. Gotta be in top physical condition for it." Louis said.

He went to a small gym area he had set up in his room. It had a sign that read "I Love Pain". Taking deep breaths, he prepared to lift a barbell that was balanced by two lightweight stuffed animals. He stuck out his chest, but almost passed out because he could barely lift it. He dropped the barbell, which made a 'squeak' noise.

"I'm ready!" Louis cheered.

He ran outside, nearly knocking into Ronnie Anne on his way, and made it all the way to Aloha Comrade.

"There it is. The finest eating establishment ever established for eating: Aloha Comrade. I've been dreaming of this moment. I'm gonna go in there, march straight to my Grandpa, look 'im straight in the eye, lay it on the line and..." Louis started to say happily.

He frowned dejectedly.

"I can't do this!" Louis shouted.

He started to run home, but Lizzie stopped him.

"Oh, Lizzie!" Louis said.

"Where do you think you're going?" Lizzie asked with her arms crossed.

"I was just..." Louis started to say.

"No, you're not. You're going to Abuelo and get that job." Lizzie replied.

"I can't, don't you see? I'm not good enough." Louis whinned.

"Whose first words were 'may I take your order'?" Lizzie asked.

"Mine were. I have no idea why, though." Louis replied.

"Who made a spatula out of toothpicks in wood shop?" Lizzie asked.

"I did. I really don't know why I did that, though." Louis replied.

Lizzie frowned while trying to come up with a good third line.

"Who's a... uh, who's... uhh... oh! Who's a black haired comic book lovin' kid who goes to middle school?" Lizzie asked.

"I am." Louis replied.

"Who's ready?" Lizzie asked.

"I'm ready!" Louis replied.

He ran towards Aloha Comrade. Lyra, who was working there part-time, was cleaning graffiti on the restaurant's windows when she saw her younger cousin approaching.

"Oh, I wonder what Louis needs." Lyra muttered.

She looked at a Help Wanted sign hung up next to her on the window, screamed, and ran inside, remembering fully well how Lynn Sr. didn't want to hire him due to his age. She ran up to Lynn Sr., who was overseeing the place himself due to Sergei being out on business.

"Grandfather Lynn! Hurry, before it's too late, I have to tell you..." Lyra started to say.

The brunette got interrupted by Louis.

"Permission to come aboard crew, captain. I've been training that last couple of months for the day I could join the Aloha Comrade crew. And now I'm ready." Louis said.

The boy started walking, but then tripped on a shoelace. He gave a cry as he fell right in front of his cousin and grandfather.

"So, uh, when do I start, Grandpa?" Louis asked.

"Well, Louis, it looks like you don't even have your resume." Lynn replied.

"But, Grandpa, please. I'll prove I'm fry cook material. Ask Lyra, she'll vouch for me." Louis pleaded.

Lynn and Lyra quickly walked away from Louis. Lyra took a deep breath.

"No." Lyra said.

Lynn winked and the two walked back to Louis.

"Well, Louis, we'll give you a test. If you pass, you'll be on our staff. Go out and fetch me... a, uh, hydrodynamic spatula... with, um, port-and-starboard-attachments and, uh... turbo drive. And don't come back until you get one." Lynn ordered.

Louis took out a notepad and quickly jotted down the instructions. Lynn then gave him a shirt the restaurant's logo.

"Don't worry, Grandpa. One hydrodynamic spatula, with port-and-starboard attachments, turbo drive, coming right up, sir!" Louis said.

He left the restaurant.

"He'll give up soon enough." Lynn said.

"You're terrible. A hydro-what?" Lyra asked.

The two had a good laugh. However, as Louis left the area and faded out of sight, a bus drove towards the restaurant from the opposite direction.

"Hey! Hey! Please! Passengers are to stay seated and not put their hands out the window!" the bus driver informed.

The bus stopped in front of Aloha Comrade and the doors opened. Inside the building, Lynn stopped laughing.

"That sounded like hatch doors." Lynn said.

He sniffed repeatedly.

"Do you smell it? That smell. A kind of smelly smell. A smelly smell that smells... smelly." Lynn whispered.

He eyes bulged.

"High school football players." Lynn whispered.

"What?" Lyra asked.

"High school football players!" Lynn shouted.

A group of high school football players and cheerleaders got out of the bus and rushed inside the restaurant, crowding it and repeating the word "food" over and over again.

"Please, please, quiet!" Lyra shouted at the front.

The crowd stopped talking.

"Is this any way to behave, hmmm? Could we show a little decency and form a neat single file line in front of the register?" Lyra asked as calmly as possible.

The crowd was quiet at first, but then picked up Lynn and Lyra, with their cries of 'Food!' becoming more intense. Soon, the two were being tossed around like a ship in a storm.

"All hands on the steering wheel! Get your breaks out of your pants!" Lynn shouted.

"One single file line was all I asked!" Lyra shouted fearfully.

The two were thrown up into the air.

"Batten down the hatches, Lyra!" Lynn cried.

They fell back down before being thrown back up again, with Lynn clutching Lyra.

"We're taking on water, Lyra!" Lynn cried.

They fell back down before being thrown up a third time, with Lynn clutching Lyra.

"I want my mommy, Lyra!" Lynn cried.

They climbed a nearby mast, while the crowed tried to get them down.

"Food! Food!" the crowd shouted.

"This is the end! Goodbye, Lyra!" Lynn Sr. said.

The two cried, but then as all hope seemed lost, Louis came flying in with the spatula, red lights flashing and singing a heroic tune.

"Permission to come aboard captain! Da da da da da da da! Da da da da da da da da da da! Did someone order a spatula?" Louis asked.

Lyra and Lynn started stuttering, while shocked at how Louis had even managed to get the hydrodynamic spatula.

"That's right! One hydrodynamic spatula with "two spatulas then pop out on the sides of the previous one" and "port-and-starboard attachments". And let's not forget the turbo drive!" Louis said.

The two extending spatulas twirled around and smacked his two relatives in the face.

"Would you believe they only had one in stock? To the kitchen!" Louis said.

Louis flew into the kitchen and served up Lynn-sagna after Lynn-sagna. Numerous Lynn-sagnas were launched through the opening window to the hungry football players. Eventually, all of the football players were served. Louis then served all the cheerleaders the Lynn-sagna and the crowd left on the bus. Louis blew on his spatula, being thankful he saved the day.

* * *

Later, Lynn Sr. was celebrating with a huge load of cash that the high school football players and cheerleaders had left.

"That was the finest fast-foodsmanship I've ever seen, Louis. Welcome aboard." Lynn Sr. said.

He gave the tan skinned boy a name tag.

"I'll be in my office, counting up the profits." Lynn said.

He wheeled a wheelbarrow piled with the enormous stack of cash to the back. Lyra turned to Louis.

"Well, Louis, I gotta hand it to you. You came in on our hour of need and saved us. And... oh, come here!" Lyra said.

The older girl hugged her cousin tightly.

"Aw, shucks. You're making me blush." Lincoln said.

Just then, Loni entered the restaurant.

"Good morning, Aloha Comrade crew!" Loni said.

Lyra smiled at her older cousin as she got behind the cash register.

"What would you like to order, Loni?" Lyra aske.

"One Lynn-sagna, please." Loni replied.

Louis used his spatula to fly back to the kitchen, and a score of Lynn-sagnas immediately fired through the servery, colliding with Loni and sending him flying out of the restaurant. Crashing was heard as the boy was thrown out screaming. Lyra desperately tried to calm Louis as he went over the top in cooking.

"Louis, calm down! Try not to break that stuff." Lyra pleaded.

Something was then broken.

"Grandfather Lynn, come see your new employee!" Lyra cried.


End file.
